Haven’t we all had that moment when everything went downhill and we declared that we’re an utter disappointment? And that time, when we retreated from doing something just because we’re unsure of our success? It’s a common trait in everyone. With many obstacles on our way, we all find it difficult to attain something when the biggest demon pulls us back with its claws – the fear of failure. But before that what is fear? The devil that always prevents you from succeeding, fear always have a way of itself into your brain.
For success to bow, one should learn not to bow before failure. Keep yourself motivated during hard times and overcome the failure. Almost every successful person in this world have more stories about his/her failures that about their success. One of the richest men on earth Bill Gates watched his first company crumbling down! Steve Jobs, the man we respects to height, was booted from his own company. Do you know that Watt Disney was told that he lacked creativity? Head high up in the air, one should learn techniques to fight the demon and overcome the fear of failure.
Realize that failure is bound to happen
You may not always get successful. One might have to try numerous times to get something right. The first thing one should learn is that when you set off to do something the chances of failing in it are actually equal to winning it. It’s not wrong to fail, for failure is actually steps towards success. So just because you fell at the first attempt, you shouldn’t stop trying. If J.K. Rowling had fell disheartened when 13 publishers rejected her draft, world would’ve missed the legendary Harry Potter. Remember when Thomas Alva Edison said that he had failed 1000 times before getting successful in his light bulb discovery?
Change your approach in dealing with the fear of failure
The general behaviour found in people is that when the results don’t match their expectations, they term it as failure. Instead of mourning over it, analyze where you went wrong and change your approach in doing that task. Make sure that your task is something realistic and approachable for you and think of a new and better way to approach that task.
Take smaller steps
One shouldn’t cry after failing in a huge task before practising with smaller ones. Never set a long term goal unless you think that you can make it. Set smaller and approachable goals and complete it. Practise well and take up huge tasks only when you’re confident about your work.
Accept and confront your fears
Realize that it’s okay to have fears. Embrace that those fears are actually a part of you. Get comfortable with it and learn to deal with it. Learn why you have them and then try to solve them. Instead of fearing your fears, try to get friendly with them. It’s okay to retreat first but make sure that it’s for striking back hard, just like a cobra swaying back to hit hard.
Don’t make assumptions
One failed attempt is enough for some to believe that “I’m a loser” “I’m useless”. Stop making assumptions about yourself. Try is the keyword. Try again and again. As said above, realize that it’s okay to fail several times. The taste of success would make your forget all those bitter failures!
Don’t be a perfectionist
Perfectionists are bound to fail for his/her standards are high. Anything that doesn’t meet their standards are “failure” for them. For example, a perfectionist professor would bring out less papers and projects than any other professors in an institute would. Because the expectations that professor have on his students would be so high that the students would be sometimes unable to cope up with that.
The optimistic approach of yours would determine whether you would be successful later in your life. If you’re that kind of people who fall depressed after a failed attempt, then strive yourself in changing that for one’s success lies in how he/she deals with failure. If you are ready to take the responsibilities of success then you should be able to deal with the pain of failure.
As said earlier, it’s okay to fail. The world doesn’t end right there at the moment when you fail. There will be several opportunities coming for you, giving you a chance to improve.
Get relaxing techniques
Having a panic attack or triggering are common. Learn some relaxing techniques. For example, take a deep breath at the times of distress. Breathe in slowly for five seconds, through your nose. Use your diaphragm not your chest. Make sure that your stomach rises, not chest. Doing this would make you feel relaxed and relieves you from the stress and panic that the fear was giving you. And by this way, not only fear of failure, but any fear can be defeated
Another one is relaxing your muscles. Tense and release your muscles in your body for full body relaxation. For example, tense your feet for a few seconds, hold them still and then release them after a while.
Beat your negative thoughts
Negative thoughts are the biggest demons one can face. The nagging voice that screams “YOU CAN’T DO IT” is hard to ignore and is one of the main reasons that prevents people from rising to heights. You must realize that the inner you is always dissatisfied with you. The voices you seem to hear can be tackled by challenging it. As per Robin Sharma in his The monk who sold his Ferrari, tackle your negative thoughts by thinking something good over them. Think of roses, he said!
Another technique is self talk. Admit it; don’t we all talk to ourselves? It can be the greatest boosters. Challenge your inner voice by talking to it and defeat it by your confidence. Your “I can do it” is greater than any of the inner screams you would hear.
We all have heard the infamous proverb.
Failures are stepping stones to success.
Yet we are scared of failure. Realize that failures are indeed experiences that one can learn from. Look at every famous and successful person in the planet. Everyone would have tales of failures. There will be! They are the perfect examples why one shouldn’t be disheartened by failures. Learn from these inspirational personalities and accept the fact that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to fall for one can always rise from mud!