Ways to Deal With Anger

Controlling anger can be a challenge for all of us. the good news is that there are many techniques you can employ to get a handle on the situation.

When anger strikes consider the following ten under management tips.

If anger outbursts are a problem for you, then here is my “first aid kit” to help you

Not blow it by blowing up

  • When you feel anger rising, STOP! Say and do nothing. Most importantly, do not act out your angry feelings.
  • Take a mental timeout and even a physical timeout if necessary to avoid acting out your anger in ways that might be hurtful to yourself or others.

A mental timeout is a technique that allows you to shift the focus from blame to something more calming, such as your breathing, counting backwards from 100, reciting the alphabet backwards, or visualising a pleasant scene.

A physical timeout removes you from the situation by walking away or hanging up the phone.

The goal of this step is to let go of blame so you can calm yourself down and then decide the best way to respond, not react, to the situation triggering your anger.

Continue calming yourself down by using a relaxation exercise, such as meditative breathing, safe place visualisation, or progressive muscle relaxation until you are grounded and can think more clearly.

When you are completely calmed down, avoid returning to blaming

Instead, focus on the pain that fueled your anger by asking yourself: “Why am I hurting?

Why did this situation upset me so much?”Keep at it until you can identify the pain.

For example:

  • Her criticism made me feel like a failure, and that really hurt. Again, the important goal here is to focus on your pain rather than the blame.
  • Once you have identified the pain, then ask yourself, “What do I need to do with respect to this situation to take care of myself in my long term best interest?”

For example:

Above, the answers could be “I need to let her know that her comments were hurtful and ask her not to do it again,”

or “I need to stay away from her because she always puts me down,”

or “I need to try to be less defensive when she gives me criticism because I know she’s just trying to help me.”

The main goal of this step is to let your pain guide you into doing what is best for you in order to take care of yourself.


  •  Now that you know what you need to do to take care of yourself, do it!Because by choosing to focus on the pain and self-care, you will decrease both pain and blame.
  • Be less angry and more clear-headed in how you respond to difficult situations, which is how you make anger an ally.
  • Practice, practice, practice because learning to let go of blame, focus on the pain.

Anger management strategies: Ways to control anger

When anger strikes consider the following ten under management tips.

Take a timeout. diffuse your temper by slowing down before you react. Take a moment or two to breathe deeply and count to ten if necessary.

Step away from the person or situation until your frustration subside.

Once your cum expresses your anger with a cool head and counts emotions state your concerns and needs clearly and directly but in a non-confrontational way.

Get some exercise as your anger wills but before it, ups take a brisk walk. A healthy run or engage in some other favourite physical activity.

Stimulating your brain chemicals can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

Learn to speak. Think before you speak something you’ll regret. Hold off for just a few moments. Collect your thoughts and allow others involved in the situation to do the same identify possible solutions.

It’s natural to focus on what made you mad or upset instead assess the situation. Remind yourself that anger isn’t the answer and won’t lead to a solution.

  • In fact, it might make matters worse so next time you get messy room drives you crazy close the door.
  • If your partner is late for dinner every night then set your meals later in the evening or eat on your own a few times a week.
  • Stick with I statement criticising and placing the blame on others might only increase the tension instead.
  • Your specific ‘I’ statements to describe the problem in a respectful way.

For example:

  • See, I’m upset that you didn’t take out the garbage this morning instead of you never take out the garbage when it’s full.
  • Avoid being swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Don’t hold a grudge forgive don’t let anger and other negative feelings crowd out the positive ones.
  • If you can forgive someone who angered you. you bought my plane from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be exactly as you want at all times.
  • Use humour to release tension lightning of the situation can help defuse tension. However, avoid using sarcasm as it can hurt feelings and make matters worse.
  • Practice relaxation skills exercise those relaxation techniques when your temper flares.
  • Practice deep breathing exercises imagine a relaxing scene or repeat a common word or phrase such as take it easy.
  • You might also listen to music write in a journal or do a few yoga poses.
  • Whatever it takes to encourage relaxation to know when to seek help controlling anger is challenging to everyone at times.

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